Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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