what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
