Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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