billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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