best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
