After last night, I could never be a politician.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
