Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
