I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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