spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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