So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize