There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
