I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
