Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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