I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize