he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
