haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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