woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
