3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
