he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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