i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
