I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize
