He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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