He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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