hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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