Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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