don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
