If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This baby is an asshole
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
