He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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