I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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