He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize