ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Gay?
German.
Pity.
These tits shall not be calmed
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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