I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
