PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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