Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You don't make any sense
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