idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
