Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
