what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
