I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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