I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
