I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
