Porn is love you can see.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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