i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize