grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
