You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
