is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
