Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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