Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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