i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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