I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
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Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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