Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We are two peas in an std pod
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
