If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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