Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
