Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
