Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
