I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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