i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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