i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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