Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
