its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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