even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
