The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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