Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
