Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
