the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
