Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am available for nakedness
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