is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Boobs speak an international language.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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